The real reason we procrastinate
Let’s talk about procrastination.
Why don’t you just do it?
Because procrastination is a protection of what’s underneath.
No time management tips or productivity hacks are going to fix this because it’s not a time management problem.
So let’s go deeper under the layers.
In this article, I’m going to share with you the real reason why we procrastinate, my own insights after coaching clients on this issue and what you can do to beat procrastination.
In my experience and what I see from coaching clients, procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem.
We’re avoiding a negative feeling.
“I’m not good enough to do this task. Even if I am, I don’t know how good it’s going to turn out. What are people going to think? This is so hard. What if I do a bad job?”
All of these thoughts and feelings will result in us putting the tasks aside and go take a nap, play the piano, do adult colouring or clean the house instead.
(The take naps is me)
The longer we do this, the more stress and anxiety builds up, the more guilty we feel and then we blame ourselves for “lack of discipline.”
Underneath these thoughts are fears.
“Not good enough” fear of letting ourselves or other people down.
“How good it’s going to turn out.” fear of not being perfect.
“What are people going to think?” fear of judgement.
“What if if i do a bad job?” fear of failure.
When you find out the root cause of your procrastination and get honest with yourself, you will shift from procrastination into quick action.
In order to stop the procrastination and take actions daily to move your work or business forward, you have to start being transparent about your feelings and handle the underlying fears that are holding you back.
Here are five simple steps to help you get started on beating your procrastination.
Recognize your saboteurs: According to the work of Shirzad Chamine, the author of Positive Intelligence, Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours, we have sabotaging personas or saboteurs that we have created as a form of protection and survival when we were kids. These personas are the negative voices in your head that try to hold you back from achieving your goals. They can take many forms, such as the perfectionist, the pleaser, or the avoider.
The first step to beating procrastination is to recognize which saboteurs are holding you back. You can take this assessment to find out which saboteurs are controlling your mind, not conscious to you. Once you recognize your saboteurs, you can begin the work to overcome them.
Practice self-compassion: I understand and can empathize with you that when we’re struggling with procrastination, it’s easy to beat ourselves up for not being productive.
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just get it done?”
It's important to be kind to yourself, we all know that, but the Judge saboteur in us have a strong voice and its job is to judge ourselves, others and the circumstances that we’re in. We have not been taught how to weaken the voice.
Here’s one of many simple ways to do that. Visualize your child version of you when these negative judgements come up. Or even better, put a photo of you when you were a child and look at her. Tell yourself or your younger self that it's okay to make mistakes and that everyone struggles with procrastination at times. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding.
Break tasks into smaller chunks: Large tasks can be overwhelming and lead to procrastination. To avoid this, break tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks. This makes it easier to get started and build momentum.
For example, if you need to clean the house, break it down into smaller tasks such as cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the living room, and so on.
I am a huge fan of Marie Kondo, who created the KonMari Method of tidying up. The KonMari Method™ encourages tidying by category – not by location – beginning with clothes, then moving on to books, papers, komono (miscellaneous items), and, finally, sentimental items. Keep only those things that speak to the heart, and discard items that no longer spark joy. Thank them for their service – then let them go.
Set a timer: Setting a timer can be a great way to beat procrastination. Choose a task and set a timer for a specific amount of time, such as 25 minutes. During this time, focus on the task at hand and avoid distractions. When the timer goes off, take a short break before starting the next task.
Or you can join a virtual co-working session where you are joined with other like minded women who want to get their sh*t done in under 60 minutes. I host this on Monday mornings for moms who need their “office time” and be accountable to get their number one task on their list done, inside Get Things Done Pod monthly subscription.
Celebrate your wins: Finally, celebrate your wins! When you've completed a task, take a moment to acknowledge your accomplishment. If you’ve been a client of mine, you know how much I love to celebrate tiny wins. This is because we are training our mind muscles to be in the vibration of gratitude even with the smallest wins.
This can be as simple as giving yourself a mental high-five or treating yourself to something you enjoy, such as a cup of tea or a piece of chocolate. Celebrating your wins will help you stay motivated and build momentum.
Remember, your procrastination doesn’t reflect who you are as a person. It’s most likely a symptom of an underlying negative emotions attached to the task that you’re avoiding.
Use the tips above especially tip #1 and #2 first before getting into action. You must bring your saboteur and its lies into your awareness first. It’s the first step to lose its grip over you so that you can reach your true potential in your happiness, your career and your relationships.
Once you start weakening its lies, your higher self will step in and from this place, you make better and more creative decisions because your mind is clear from the negative voice and insight will flow from within you.
Tell me in the comments if you have taken the Saboteur Assessment. What did you discover about yourself? I’ll go first - My top 3 are High-Achiever, Controller and Restless.
Need more support? Learn how your self sabotaging personas are holding you back from having what you want most in your life. Let’s connect.
