Babies And Children Can Heal From In Arms Crying

Uncategorized Nov 05, 2020

I was at KidZania with my daughters and nephews yesterday. If you’re not familiar with that place, it’s a theme park city made for children so that they can play pretend to work as a flight attendance, postal worker, surgeon, factory worker and so on to earn money or they pay money to get their hair done at the hair salon, or get their face painted, or to be a customer shopping at a mart. That place was packed especially during the school holidays. While it’s a place for children to get excited and have fun, it’s also a place where they can easily get overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Because I’m so in tuned with how children feel and their behaviour reflecting how they feel, I couldn’t help but noticed so many children with unmet needs at that place. Needless to say by midday, there were lots of little ones having a meltdown, screaming their lungs out.

In these situations, we can see and understand why the little ones can get overwhelmed....

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Play & Laughter Builds Confidence

Babies and young children are constantly learning how the world works, new motor skills, social skills, dealing with separation, and so much more. Every day, they encounter something strange and new that are surprising, delightful, scary and sometimes downright confusing. All this new information is stored in their brain, processed and kept in the memory while they sleep.

Sometimes, new experiences that are overwhelming and too scary can interfere with their sleep as they try to process them. If you have a 2.5 year old and above, their imagination gets wilder and so they suddenly become more fearful than ever before.

How do you help them process these scary feelings before sleep?

I’m going to share with you one of my secret sauces to relaxed sleep. It’s a tool, when used consistently over time, will show great results in the way your child gets ready to fall asleep.

It’s simply a tool of Play & Laughter, where it sounds deceptively simple, but...

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Sleep Train A Newborn?

So there has been an article by The Wall Street Journal that has been going around with the title “Can You Sleep Train Your Baby At 2 Months?”

The article reported that prominent paediatrics practice in New York and Los Angeles are saying that babies as young as 2 months old can be taught to sleep through the night by being left to cry.

Needless to say, I felt quite sick reading it. This is not a post to judge parents who used this technique on their 8 weeks old baby. I know there are also researches that back up this crying it out technique and that there are no long term damages to the child. I’ve also read plenty of researches that support non cry it out ways that can also help newborns sleep better.

So there are definitely two sides to this, we all have our own different and unique parenting style, so there’s no judgement whatsoever for those who tried cry it out at 2 months old, and saw that it worked for them.

I’d like to offer my own...

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How To Deal With Tantrums At Bedtime

It is Saturday night, and you’re thinking, okay I’ll allow my kid to stay up a little late today since she’s still very much awake and energetic even though it’s already her bedtime.

Then 2 hours later than her usual bedtime, you decide okay now it’s really time for her to go to sleep. So you give her a heads up saying you’re going to take her to bed in ten minutes time.

Ten minutes later, you say let’s go sweetie, it’s bedtime. And then you got a response, “NO! I’m not tired!

And when you put a loving limit to the behaviour by carrying her into the bedroom, she starts to throw a tantrum.

If you’re a parent to a three, four or five year old, I’m quite sure this scenario has happened to you about a hundred times right?

If you have a child younger than three years old, you might hear a no or you might get yelled at haha.

Well, I just described to you what happened with my daughter last weekend.. She had a...

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5 Reasons Your Baby Just Won’t Nap

5 reasons your baby won't nap

So you have a baby who just won’t nap?

Naps are of the main sources of frustration for parents. There are many many reasons why babies won’t nap, but I’m just gonna go over FIVE main reasons in this post and what you can do about it.

1. Your baby is simply not tired enough! This is especially true for babies who are older and any fussing or crying are mistaken as tired cues. Sometimes fussing and agitation are signs of unexpressed feelings. How to tell the difference? My suggestion is to keep a sleep log, observe the awake window (hours of when you baby is alert) and when your child is truly tired – yawning, rubbing eyes are good indicators. If your baby is fussing and wanting to go for a cry (after all immediate needs have been met) then it would good to do some listening.

2. Environment is not nap conducive. What’s the nap environment like? From my experience, just making small changes such as where the baby sleeps (in the bedroom...

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Use These 7 Practical Steps When Your Child Misbehaves (And Do It Without Yelling)

It was Saturday. My husband, who had been working late all week was really excited for the weekend, being able to do one of his favourite things in the world – spending time with his family. So we discussed about where we could go and what to do. It was decided that we go out for lunch and then bowling.

We started to get ready but my daughter Am, was being particularly difficult with taking a shower, and choosing appropriate clothes to go out. I gave her choices so that we could get on with it and leave the house. But she continued with really, really challenging behaviours.

We got in the car and got buckled up with our seat belts – but she refused to wear it. Lots of power struggle there.

We got to the mall to have lunch – she said she was sleepy and she wanted to lean on her dad while walking. Then she said she couldn’t walk. Then it was her just walking at snail like speed. Then it was because she was feeling too cold to walk and needed to be carried.

You...

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Top 10 Reason Sleep Training Fail (part 2)

Did you find my last post on Top 10 Reasons Sleep Training Fail (and what you can do instead) helpful for you?

If you missed it, go read that first and then come back to this page.

Here are the remaining top 3 reasons sleep training fails.

8. You only consider the controlled crying method 
You probably heard from other parents who have used this method and they claimed that it took them only 2 or 3 nights for their baby to sleep through the night. This sounds alluring especially if you have been so tired from many sleepless nights. A quick fix is what you need! Right?

Maybe. I never promise any quick fixes because I just don’t believe in them.

What you can do instead: I recommend that you speak with your paediatrician, get recommendations, and do your own research. Keep searching for a method or approach that is aligned with your parenting philosophy and what feels right in your heart. There is a range of approaches and methods that you can use to help...

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Top 10 Reasons Sleep Training Fails (Part 1)

One of the main reasons mums come to me is when they have tried everything to get their baby to sleep on their own and stay asleep in the night, including sleep training.

I personally don’t like the term “sleep training”. Many people think that sleep training exclusively implies a “cry it out” approach, which is technically referred to leaving your child alone in the dark, crying to sleep.

As a sleep consultant, I know that there is a range of methods out there that doesn’t involve leaving your child to sleep alone in the dark, that still falls under the category of “sleep training”.

For me, I like to use ‘helping your child to sleep’ instead of ‘training’ because I believe there is no training involved.

In order to help your child to sleep peacefully at night, there are a few things that you need to know and understand that would make a difference in success and failure.

Below, I’ve...

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Helping Your Child Deal With Physical Pain

crying pain release stress Nov 05, 2020

A2 was 2.5 years old when she started pre-school with A1. Each time I pick them up, they would be so excited for Mama and forgot to bring their bags along. This was a norm.

One day, A2 wanted to show me how strong she was to carry her bag AND her sister’s bag. But she missed a step and accidentally kicked her toe onto the sliding door railing at the bottom. This caused massive pain and her big toe bled slightly. Of course she cried hard from that.

I couldn’t do any listening at that point because I wanted to make sure it didn’t bleed out of control. I was more concerned of the medical attention it needed. Turned out, it was a small cut but she seemed terrified and in so much pain.

I wanted to get both girls home as quickly and safely as I could. She cried the whole way back. I was still not in a position to listen with empathy and support because my focus was on driving.

She stopped crying as soon as we got home. So we continued with our day as usual.

A week...

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How To Listen To Your Child’s Monday Blues

sadness monday

 

Ahh… the blues we get on Mondays. We welcome the weekend but then it’s only for 2 days. I don’t feel that it is enough, do you?

Today I picked up my daughter from her pre-school feeling very excited because I missed her. We hugged and kissed and the conversation was pleasant at first. Then she started to be difficult.

She was hungry so she asked for food.

She said she wanted us to stop by the shop to get her snack so she could eat on the way home.

I told her we were quite nearby to our house, so we did not need to get snack.

And then she started yelling.

I reminded her again that we were going to have brown noodles (dry wanton noodles) but she insisted on white noodles (mee hoon).

She demanded for a snack again, so I reminded her we have green apples and kiwis to eat after lunch.

Then she said she hates green apples and kiwis because they are sour. (These are her favourite fruits by the way)

The yelling continued until we got home.

After I parked my car...

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