20-month Old Talking Non-stop And Won’t Go To Sleep

Uncategorized Nov 05, 2020

Here’s this week’s question: How do I encourage my 20 month old to go to sleep? Tonight she talked nonstop for 1.5 hours and changed position about a thousand times. Finally slept at 10pm. This just started a few weeks ago. Nothing has changed in our routine. Except she previously used to nurse to sleep. Now she says “enough” and I think she tries to sleep on her own. Except she keeps going on and on, even if I don’t reply, she sings to herself. Sometimes she throws a tantrum and starts crying because she can’t sleep and she’s too tired. Do I just leave it and let her figure it out in the next few months (hopefully not that long ?)?

There are three areas which I would investigate more on:

Nap time

I would first want to know, when she goes to bed at that time – could it be that she’s not tired enough? What time was her last nap?

At 20 months old, toddlers generally are on one nap schedule and that their awake window can stretch...

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How To Transition From Co-Sleeping To The Cot

If someone asks me, “Sarah, what’s your ideal sleep arrangement like with your baby?”

I don’t have a small baby anymore but my answer would be, “Co-sleeping (either in the cot next to me or sharing the bed with me) for the first 2 years of their life.” This would be the same answer from my husband too. We both love the idea of sleeping closely with our babies.

I room shared with my oldest daughter until she was 4 years old and my youngest, until she was 1.5 years old.

After going through two babies, the circumstances were different and after supporting many moms with the cot transition, there is no ‘right time’ to end co-sleeping.

It’s when you feel the sleeping arrangement doesn’t work for your family anymore. Then I feel that’s the right time to consider changing your baby’s sleeping place.

In this post, I’m going to answer the following question,

“OK, I think I’ve just about had it with this...

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Why Baby Wakes Up Too Early

There’s the common question of how to get baby sleep through the night and then there’s another really, really common question which is,

“My 14 month old baby wakes up every single day like clockwork at 5.30am. I’d feed him, and then put him down in the cot but he’ll wake up again 10-15 minutes later crying. This goes on until I get him up at 6.30am. How do I overcome this and help him sleep longer past at least 6am?”

Let’s get into the realistic expectations for morning wake time for babies and toddlers.

The general rule of thumb is 6am is the mark of morning. Anything earlier is considered ‘night’.

Babies generally wake early and there’s nothing much you can do about that.

Firstly, it’s their biological sleep drive that goes really low during the early morning after 10-11 hours of night sleep. And this generally go on until they’re about 5 or 6 years old when they can start to sleep in to 8am.

If your baby has...

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Golden money lessons for children

crying money support tears Nov 05, 2020

Last weekend, I took my girls out to the mall and we made a deal upfront that they could get toys or anything they fancy. And that their budget was RM20 each. They agreed.

Now, you and I both know that it’s really hard to get a nice toy under RM20. I wanted them to learn the value of money. It’s very easy to just ask for things when they don’t understand that things cost money. So I wanted them to learn to always check on the price tag to see if it’s within budget.

Also, this stemmed from a talk that my husband and I had weeks back, that we should rephrase what we say about money to our kids because what we say will be programmed ‘money story’ in the first 7 years of a child’s life that will stay with them for life.

For example, instead of saying “that’s expensive, we don’t have the money for it”, we would say “The toy costs xx and I don’t feel like spending that kind of money right now. How about we save...

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Basic Fundamentals Of Newborns

What I’d like to offer you in this post is some basic fundamentals about newborns and sleep, so that you’re reassured you are doing the ‘right’ thing and that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with your baby.

I don’t like to tell parents what’s right or wrong because I believe you are the expert of your baby. What I’m providing is information based on research from various child development experts. This information is for you to make an informed decision on how you feel best to raise your child in your best capabilities and knowledge.

The following are the needs of newborns:
* Warmth
* Physical contact (lots of touch and being held)
* Gentle movement (like rocking, swaying)
* Heartbeat sound
* Mom’s and dad’s calm voices
* Prompt responsiveness to crying
* Breastfeeding when hungry
* Reduced source of overstimulation

Babies are extremely sensitive to their environment during the postnatal period. They’re so used to...

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Our daugther told a lie…

Before we leave the house for a long drive to go somewhere, we would make sure that our daughters’ go pee first. There have been numerous occasions where we drove long distance and they need to pee when there were no toilets nearby. And we would be in panic to find one quickly. I’m sure those of you who have potty trained your child could relate to this.

Sometimes, my husband and I tend to insist that they go pee even though they tell us they don’t feel like it. Totally our fault that we do that because we don’t want their toilet requests to be an inconvenience for us when we’re out.

One day last weekend, my husband asked my 5yo to go pee before we went out. She said she didn’t feel like it. But he insisted. So she went to the toilet and pretended to pee and came back out. We knew she didn’t because we didn’t hear the flush.

Her dad was upset by this because she outrightly lied that she went to pee. Even when we were already out and...

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My baby cried until she vomitted

connection crying Nov 05, 2020

Do you sometimes hear/read about it and then you think “oh that poor baby, how can the baby be left to cry to a point he throws up?”

Or maybe you experienced that yourself and you felt super guilty after?

A mum asked me this, “I used the approach that we discussed in our session and as expected my baby did cry in protest. Sometimes, she would cry continuously until she coughs and vomits. My question is, how do i know when her cries have turned into a “needy” cry, instead of a stress release cry?”

Another mum also asked this in my FB live session recently, “I’ve tried this approach with my first baby and I successfully weaned her from nursing to sleep and reducing night wakings. It worked like magic. But with my second baby, no matter how long she cries in my arms, she never really goes into deep sleep like my first daughter did. She would either vomit, stop crying and then play, sleep but wake again in 10 minutes or her voice becomes...

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It’s Hard To Let Go

When my girls were smaller (baby and toddler age) I used to think that child raising would be easier when they’re bigger and independent. Actually it doesn’t get any easier. It gets more complex!

I mean sure my husband and I don’t need to pack the diaper bag and we can just leave the house to go out much quicker than before and that’s really nice, but now we’re facing a new stage of parenting. Parenting a school age child.
Don’t get me wrong. My 8-year old daughter is very independent and she does most of the self hygiene care by herself and she helps me with chores too.
What we need to do more of is to let go.
What I mean by that is when she has a hard time in school, dealing with some mean teachers and friends, I need to learn to let go of wanting to fix things for her, to tell her what to do and how to say things when she is being ill treated.
The past two weeks were hard on her. She came to a breaking point where she could no longer tolerate the...

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Coming Out Of A Rabbit Hole

I was in this state of funk the past few weeks and it affected my enthusiasm for work, for the raya holidays, and for being present with my family.

I don’t know what caused it at first but it was a deep rabbit hole that I found myself in. Have you had days like that?

Now that I’m finally coming out of it, looking back I realise that it wasn’t just a funk I was in. I feel that it was more of my soul wanting to take a pause from the hustle of work overall.

This year had been tough. There was a huge change in the school timings starting in January this year. Big sister is in Year 2 primary and it’s in the afternoon session 1-6pm. Little sister is in montessori school from 8.30am to 12.30pm.

Meaning I have one child with me at all times. This has proved lots of difficulties for me when it comes to focusing on my work.

Needless to say, all the cooking, school run, meeting clients, writing sleep plans, driving, and doing the marketing for my services came to a...

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How To Set Loving Limits When Your Child Gets Up To Play For Hours In The Night

“My toddler and I are having difficult times now as I’ve totally wean her off my breast 4 days ago. No more milk and no more latching to sleep.

The weaning process is hard for us as we are both very sleep deprived now. However, it has been consistent that for the past 3 days, her 1am night waking – she doesn’t managed to fall back to sleep after crying. After crying, she did try to lie on the bed and close her eyes but she can’t fall back to sleep. So she would ask to go out of the room, to the living hall, to see what other family member is doing, etc. I agreed at the first two days and will carry her downstairs, while she will eventually fall asleep in my arms as I stand at the living room and rock her a bit. (She refused to let me sit). But since two days ago I refused cos I’m too tired. So I’ll just let her stay in the room, eat biscuits or play toys. And she will only fall asleep at 3am or 4am. 🙁

Is it ok to let her do some stuff...

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