I’m self sabotaging and it’s okay. Here’s why.

So you know how you see and read social media posts of other people’s success and wins but you never actually see their messy middle and all the screw ups they went through to get to where they’re at?

 

Well, today is not that kind of post.

 

I’m going to share all my messy middle with you and I’m really scared to hit send on this post.

 

I can already feel my hands becoming sweaty as I’m typing.

 

My brain is telling me all the million things that I need to get done in the kitchen right now and not finish this post.

 

*deep belly breath in.. and slow deep breath out*

 

Pretty much all throughout the month of July, my house was under renovation to replace the flooring that was damaged for far too long. 

 

It was stressful to live in a dusty, noisy, cluttered environment and I wasn’t able to cook or do any washing or the laundry. 

 

It was so stressful to a point where my nervous system got so...

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Don't be a sell-out.

The definition of a sell-out is a betrayal of one's principles for reasons of expedience. 

 

How does this look like in our life as a business owner?

 

I had a lovely conversation with a former client last week over lunch and she was telling me about her experience meeting someone for the first time and this person already had an agenda of turning her home based business selling high quality products into a mass production.

 

Of course there's nothing wrong with going mass and selling her products by exporting it to different countries. 

 

The only thing that worried her was she would never be able to have control over the ingredients in her products anymore.

 

Organic, pure and clean high quality ingredients without preservatives is one of her biggest values. 

 

She asked if she was playing small by saying no to that person who wanted to help her (there were also other red flags about this person but that's not the story...

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My secret #1 time and productivity hack.

"I just don't have the time", says everybody.

 

Really? 

 

Is it really you can't find the time or you won't?

 

The "lack of time" issue will never go away. 

 

We had "no time" decades ago, 5 years ago, and now. 

 

This is nothing new. 

 

We all have the same 24 hours then and now.

 

If lack of time was true in the past, you can be sure that there will still be no time in the future. 

 

So the question is not about if you can do the thing (launch your business, start the project, exercise, cook, meditate etc) given your limited time. 

 

The better questions that you need to ask is:

 

"How can I still get things done with the limited time that I have?"

 

"Which story am I committed to? Lack of time or I'll make the time?"

 

My secret is not really a secret. What worked for me is I take one small step at a time and learn to be okay with the discomfort of not seeing any results immediately.

 ...

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Let’s talk about procrastination.

Why don’t you just do it?

Because procrastination is a protection of what’s underneath.

No time management tips or productivity hacks are going to fix this because it’s not a time management problem.

So let’s go deeper under the layers.

What it is, is actually an emotional regulation problem.

We’re avoiding a negative feeling.

“I’m not good enough to do this task. Even if I am, I don’t know how good it’s going to turn out. What are people going to think? This is so hard. What if I do a bad job?”

All of these thoughts and feelings will result in us putting the tasks aside and go take a nap, play the piano, do adult colouring or clean the house instead.

(The take naps is me )

The longer we do this, the more stress and anxiety builds up, the more guilty we feel and then we blame ourselves for “lack of discipline.”

Underneath these thoughts are fears.

“Not good enough” fear of letting ourselves or other...

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